Those darn teeth!

I think your gums are really starting to bother you now. For the past few days, starting at around 2pm you get really fussy and uncomfortable. This lasts until bedtime. You are also chomping away on your hands like no tomorrow! Tonight I gave you a little bit of tylenol which seemed to help and you took a short nap, which threw off your sleeping schedule. You have finally just conked out, it's about 10:30 pm, and you're in bed with me now. After your nap earlier and a bottle, you played in your crib for the longest time. Looking in your mirror and scooting around in circles with your pushing toes. You got really quiet at one point and I thought maybe you had fallen asleep so I peeked in. I noticed your feet moving, and then realized your head was completely covered with a green blanket I had hung on the side of the crib. After rushing over I realized that you were camping out under there, chewing on the blanket. All smiles. Ohhhh, Pella. Mom is very tired today and secretly very glad that you are sleeping with me tonight. I better get to sleep too, because no matter how late you go to bed at night you always wake up by 6am. You're going to make a morning person out of me yet!

Some delicous Ella Art

A new artistic photo done in photoshop by your tired momma!

Two peas in a pod

This is one of my very favorite pictures. I just can't get over your little face. Looking just like Dad. You are almost 4 months old here.

Fourth month milestones

There are so many new developments this month, It’s hard to keep track of them all!

New favorite nicknames are nella bella, panky spanky, pella schmella, and monkey.

We have been listening to music and singing songs that I used to like as a little, like "Down by the Bay" and "I like to eat apples and bananas".

When you were about 2.5 months you stopped breastfeeding, and I mourned the loss of this closeness, but respected that this was what you wanted. Every time I tried to breastfeed you, you would throw a big crying fit. So, we moved on to just bottle feeding the formula and since then you have been thriving.

You are eating between 32 and 40 ounces a day! We are going through the formula like wildfire. We are almost ready to try solid foods, and I’m so excited.

The other day you sat in your booster seat for the first time and played with your toys. We will use this as a high chair, and use the special plates that Grandma Janine brought you from Hawaii.

At your 4 month checkup you weighed 15 1bs and were in the 95^th percentile for height, which means you are very tall. Just like your Dad. You had your vaccinations as well and only cried for a few minutes.

You are already wearing a size 3 diaper and are as tall as most 7 month old babies.

During this month you also started sleeping really well through the night. Going to bed every night around 7pm and only waking up once or twice for the pacifier. After I give you your pacifier you go right back to sleep. You wake up at around 6:30 am or 7 am and are a hungry girl!

Now every time you have a bottle or are going to sleep, even when napping in the swing, you put your hands behind your head like you are floating in the pool getting some sun. This is your relaxing position. Also, when you are trying to get to sleep you like to have a blanket right up next to your face. This always seems to make you feel very sleepy and cozy.

You now recognize your bottle and when you are really hungry you try to grab it and open your mouth really wide and bob your head, trying to get the bottle. Pretty soon you will be able to hold it on your own. You are so smart.

This month you also started to grab for things in front of you. I have some rattle stuffed toys hanging from your car seat handle and you love to play with them.

When you get excited you open your eyes really wide and kick your legs. I can tell when you like a toy this way. You favorite toys are your sassy baby rings, plastic keys, and taggie book. You are now much more interested in them than last month. You handle them very intently, with your delicate expressive hands.

When we visited Grandma Robin in Mariposa they discovered that you can roll over, from front to back! Since then we have been practicing tummy time at home and you roll over several times each day. Getting those muscles toned and strong for crawling.

We got you a new rainforest swing with beautiful sounds and a colorful mobile. You love looking at the mobile and swinging. We also just got the rainforest jumperoo so that you can sit upright and get some exercise. Your toes are so strong and active that this is the perfect activity for you. You bounce up and down and play with all the toys. We thought about a walker, but when we tried it at the store you started scooting yourself backwards and your Dad and I thought you might end up hurting yourself.

You are talking up a storm. Making so many new noises and expressions. After the monkey pigeon owl stage you have expanded your vocabulary and started making baby dinousaur noises. Aaaccchhkkkggghhh, aakkkkgghhhhh, aaaaaaaaaaaaaahkccckkkk. We call you baby pterodactyl. We now have full conversations all day long. You are my little companion.

When I look back at the pictures from your first month I can see how much you have changed. You are getting so big and are almost 5 months old! I can’t wait to see what you will do in the next month.

Monkey Pigeon Owl Aaahh!

When you were 2 months old you started your language development, and started making little noises I can only describe as a mix between a monkey, pigeon, and owl. Throughout the day I would hear coo, hoo, aaaahhhh, ahhhhh, hooo. My favorite was when we were in the car and I would know when you were awake because I would hear a little hooo, hooo. After cooing and hooting like an owl you added an aaahhh sound, and you would open your mouth very wide and make this noise until your voice died out. Aaah, aaaahhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhh. I love all these sounds, they are musical and magical to me. Now that you are nearing 5 months, you still making these noises, especially the aaahh noise. When we put you down for a nap or at night for bedtime, part of the ritual is you talking to yourself for awhile.

Third month milestones

Little mark, mark in a dress, mark’s head on a little baby body.

Clasping hands together and laughing. Also putting your hands up by your face and giving a bashful look.

Making lots of new noises, squeals and high pitched sounds (almost like a baby hawk).

Can see much further distances and can follow people around the room.

Recognized Dinah when she got close and you smiled at her.

Pulled grass for the first time with grandma Janine today, and spending more time sitting outside now that the weather is changing.

Can nearly roll over on your side, you have done it a few times without trying.

Starting to eat really well and gain weight. Drinking 6-8 ounces every 3 to 4 hours. For the last several weeks you weren’t eating very much and I was getting worried. I think it was the low flow bottles we were using. I got new bottles and you are drinking much faster now.

Sleeping one long stretch in the night, 4-6 hours, and then you wake up every 1 and a half to two hours and need the pacifier to calm down.

You are a very happy baby, talking and telling us stories and smiling.

You have started to mimic faces, when someone sticks their tongue out or smiles you do it back.

Also when we bring you in for a kiss you open your mouth very wide, like you are trying to kiss back.

Just the past two days you have started to stick your tongue out a lot. Very cute!

Your favorite toys are your bunny taggie book which you hold and suck on, and the sassy baby rings because they are easy for you to grip. Practically every thing you can grip you try to put in your mouth.

When you are in your crib you like to look at your Freddie the firefly toy and you like your little stuffed pink bear rattle.

You have grown out of most of your 0-3 month clothes, several weeks ago, and are now wearing some of the 6-9 month clothes. The new onesies and socks I bought you are 6-9 months.

At your 2 and a half month doctor visit you measured in the 95^th percentile for height. You are a very tall baby. I can’t wait to see how much you’ve grown at your next visit.

Every comments on how beautiful and delicate your features are. You have little elfin ears.

You love when I sing to you. So far your favorite songs are “Mammy’s gonna back a little shortnin’ bread” and “Baby Love” by the Supremes.

13 weeks, almost 3 months

My dear Ella Mae,

You are 13 weeks old, almost 3 months old. You are my sweet monkey girl with sour milk breath and delicious cheeks. Sometimes it is still like a dream. I am so lucky to have you. Every little thing about you warms my heart. Your long toes that pinch and push at me all day long, your beautiful expressive hands, your monkey noises, your long long legs, your sweet tiny lips, the swirly que spot on the top of your head, your cheesy baby neck, your little flat butt, your bright eyes, and of course your smiling dimples. One of very favorite things is the way you say “Hummm” after you have been fussing and I put a breast or bottle in your mouth. You make a little “Hummm” noise as if to say, “so there!” or “finally, what this really too much too ask?”

Today I held you for 3 hours while you took a nap. You were sleeping hard and talking in your sleep; just talking up a storm with shudders and sighs. You nap much better when you are close to me. People always wonder what you are thinking about or dreaming about while you sleep. I had never really thought about it. You dream about what all babies dream about, and it’s meant to be a mystery. I have this idea that all babies, especially newborns, are in the process of identity and consciousness formation when they sleep. This is why they sleep so much and so heavily; there is much work to be done. I imagine you sitting around a warm fire with a group of wise sage Elders and they are teaching and advising you on living this life. They tell you about your parents and how to best take care of us, and they tell you about what your purpose will be. This newborn life is a sacred time.

Toady you were a pokey eater as usual, but I managed to get you to eat some. You seem to have no patience for breastfeeding at all lately, and start to have a fit when I lay you down in position. I am just following your lead. No matter how many books I read about what you and I should be doing, you are clearly the one in charge and just guide me along.

It’s already hard to remember what it was like being pregnant. I was so anxious during the entire thing that I didn’t think much about what it would be like after you were born. It’s hard to imagine now, how difficult it was towards the end when I could barely walk down the hall to go to the bathroom. I do remember thinking though, that I couldn’t wait to have my own baby because then I could kiss and cuddle, pinch and poke, all I wanted and I never had to give you back. I remember being excited that I could play with your toes all day long and no one could stop me.

I keep thinking back, to the moment you were born, right after, when they laid you in the warmer and were busy cleaning up around me. Your skin looked so soft and dewy, I have never seen anything so velvety. You were beautiful, and you didn’t have that smashed cranky face that most babies have. Your face was perfect with tiny little features and a tiny pointed nose. The first thing I remember saying after I confirmed you were a girl, was “that is a bright white baby” and “she has her Dad’s flat but”. Then I think the next thing I said was, “those are the longest toes I’ve ever seen”. Later on I named them tree-climbing toes; more like fingers than teos. You were wide awake just looking around and you looked just like a little cabbage patch doll. Later the nurse gave you a bath and that was the first time I heard you cry, you didn’t like that water at all. From the moment that I held you and began breastfeeding, you showed us how strong you were. They called you a “power-sucker”, and you just went right after it.

The pictures that your Grandma Janine and Grandpa Mario took of you just a few hours after you were born are some of my most favorites. Your sweet little lips and the perfect roundness of your mouth are just too much. You had the brightest pink flushed cheeks, so full of color. Again you reminded me very much of a cabbage patch doll; especially one that had as a little girl named Dolores Goldie. I remember that your little hands and feet had dry wrinkly skin, which comes from being in the womb. Your grandma was convinced that you were cold and had you wrapped up so tightly, with your little face barely poking out. In some of the pictures you were just staring with interest at my Dad; both of you had the exact same expression on your face.

Being in the hospital was surreal. It was nice in a way because it was like jumping off a high scary cliff and landing in a soft bed of cotton. As new parents we were nervous and not sure what to do, but the nurses buzzed around and came in every two hours to check on us. It’s a sense of security knowing that if I wanted you could go to the nursery and be cared for by the nurses, and if something went wrong they would be right there. The whole time in the hospital I had this sense that our lives together hadn’t really started, not until we got home and settled in. Part of me wanted to stay there in the hospital forever, and a much bigger part of me couldn’t wait to get home with you.

I also think about the first day we came home. I was sitting in bed holding you and you were very sleepy. You had your little head on my shoulder, facing towards me. You looked like a sleepy little bug with tiny pursed lips. I was filled with so much joy over being your momma, so excited that I got to hold you and look at you. Such a little bundle with all your little grunts, yawns, and stretches. I was so afraid to leave you alone for even a second when we first came home. There was one night I remember shuffling down the hallway to go to the bathroom, dragging your bassinet behind me so that I could keep an eye on you every second.

These moments will stay in my heart forever. Much of this I feel I can’t even describe in words. Everything about you, like the way you moved or rested your little hand and the way you kept your arms up around your face when you slept, each of these things were like magic to me. You are my happy thought, Ella Mae.